So this is weird...

After falling off the wagon yesterday, there are 33 animals who are extremely disappointed in me. And I am a little disappointed in myself.

It started with blackberry jam, perhaps one of my very favorite things. And we're not talking about pure fruit preserves. We're talking fruit and tons of high fructose corn syrup...12 grams of sugar in each delicious tablespoon, to be precise. To clarify, the plan says an adult woman should have no more than 6 teaspoons of sugar each day and 4 grams of sugar=1 teaspoon. Therefore, half my daily sugar intake was consumed before 9am. And then, around noon, I started to miss sugar too much and I snacked on the sugar covered shredded wheat cereal that remains in my apartment as a relic of my pre-sugar free life simply because throwing away food makes me feel guilty, even if it is bad for me. And then, because I was tired of feeling deprived and figured that after the jam and cereal (the horrors!) there was no use in sticking to the no sugar rule for the rest of the day. Because, you know, if I drop my phone on the ground, I should probably smash it into a million pieces. As previously discussed, I live in extremes.

And then something weird happened. I realized that as the day went on, the jam and cereal were enough. I did not seek out cookies or ice cream or a sugary frapaccino when I went to get my daily coffee that afternoon. Instead, I snacked on some nuts and a little cheese and though I did have some salsa when I went out to Mexican food last night, that was enough too. And I woke up this morning, had some protein for breakfast and completely ignored the jam. It was a passing thought that some jam might be nice, but then it was over. And when I went to coffee, I ordered my latte with one splenda and didn't even glance at the pastries. And right this minute is perhaps the first time since I started this whole thing that I do not want a cookie. They are right over there at the bagel shop where I'm writing, but I don't want them.

This may not last forever. Perhaps, when my afternoon snack time rolls around, I'll be fantasizing about a chocolate shake, but right at this moment, I am content and looking forward to eating the walnuts I packed instead.

Ok, so maybe I'll survive this whole thing after all. Perhaps there is life after chocolate.